These Phrases given by My Parent That Helped Us during my time as a Brand-New Father

"I think I was merely in survival mode for the first year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea star Ryan Libbey thought he would to handle the demands of fatherhood.

But the truth rapidly became "utterly different" to his expectations.

Serious health complications surrounding the birth saw his partner Louise hospitalised. All of a sudden he was forced into becoming her primary caregiver in addition to looking after their baby boy Leo.

"I handled all the nights, every change… each outing. The duty of both parents," Ryan stated.

Following nearly a year he burnt out. It was a chat with his parent, on a bench in the park, that made him realise he required support.

The simple words "You are not in a good spot. You need some help. What can I do to assist you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, look for assistance and find a way back.

His story is not uncommon, but infrequently talked about. Although the public is now more comfortable addressing the stress on mothers and about PND, not enough is spoken about the challenges fathers face.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to ask for help

Ryan thinks his difficulties are symptomatic of a wider inability to open up between men, who continue to internalise damaging ideas of manhood.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the rock that just takes the pounding and stays upright every time."

"It is not a display of being weak to request help. I didn't do that fast enough," he adds.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert focusing on mental health surrounding childbirth, explains men often don't want to accept they're having a hard time.

They can feel they are "not the right person to be asking for help" - particularly in preference to a mother and child - but she stresses their mental well-being is just as important to the household.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad gave him the chance to ask for a pause - spending a short trip away, away from the domestic setting, to get a fresh outlook.

He realised he needed to make a shift to pay attention to his and his partner's emotional states as well as the logistical chores of caring for a infant.

When he was honest with Louise, he discovered he'd missed "what she was yearning" -holding her hand and listening to her.

Reparenting yourself'

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now writing Leo letters each week about his experiences as a dad, which he hopes his son will read as he matures.

Ryan believes these will assist his son better understand the vocabulary of emotional life and make sense of his approach to fatherhood.

The idea of "parenting yourself" is something artist Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four.

When he was young Stephen lacked stable male guidance. Even with having an "incredible" relationship with his dad, long-standing difficult experiences caused his father found it hard to cope and was "in and out" of his life, affecting their bond.

Stephen says suppressing emotions led him to make "bad actions" when in his youth to change how he felt, finding solace in drink and drugs as escapism from the pain.

"You find your way to substances that are harmful," he explains. "They may temporarily change how you are feeling, but they will eventually make things worse."

Advice for Managing as a New Father

• Talk to someone - when you are overwhelmed, tell a family member, your other half or a professional what you're going through. This can to lighten the load and make you feel more supported.
• Keep up your interests - keep doing the activities that made you feel like yourself before having a baby. It could be playing sport, meeting up with mates or playing video games.
• Look after the body - eating well, physical activity and where possible, sleep, all play a role in how your mind is doing.
• Meet other new dads - hearing about their journeys, the difficult parts, and also the positive moments, can help to normalise how you're feeling.
• Remember that asking for help is not failure - prioritising you is the most effective way you can support your household.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen expectedly had difficulty processing the loss, having been out of touch with him for a long time.

As a dad now, Stephen's resolved not to "repeat the pattern" with his child and instead offer the stability and emotional support he lacked.

When his son threatens to have a outburst, for example, they do "releasing the emotion" together - expressing the emotions constructively.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men since they confronted their struggles, transformed how they talk, and figured out how to manage themselves for their kids.

"I'm better… processing things and dealing with things," states Stephen.

"I put that down in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan adds. "I wrote, on occasion I think my role is to teach and advise you how to behave, but actually, it's a exchange. I'm learning an equal amount as you are through this experience."